As you are raising your children you’re sure to come across a situation like this. A sibling or a friend of theirs gets to do something and they don’t. Or even better yet, their sibling or friend gets that something that your child has been wanting for the past 2 years! And they start saying things like, “That’s not fair!” or “I shoulda got that first!” or “I deserve to go too!”
Then they start getting sad, their feelings are hurt, they might even act depressed or angry. Those thoughts and actions are telltale signs of envy. And as parents we need to recognize this because when those thoughts and those feelings come to our children of what they deserve and what somebody owes them… What they should have. What they are entitled to. If they don’t handle those thoughts correctly it can be very dangerous.
Here is how the Bible says to handle it and we can train our kids to implement this, avoid the dangers and actually envy-proof their lives.
Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
For the sake of our discussion, we’ll just focus on the first half of that verse. It says we should do what? “Rejoice with those who rejoice” If somebody gets gets to do something… and they are happy about it… should we rejoice??? What if it’s the very thing we wanted to do and we had our eye set on it but we didn’t get to do it? Of course that changes everything, right? I mean, then you can just ignore that verse. No! We can still rejoice. What if their sibling shows them that new toy and they look at it… and they are all excited and rejoicing and your child says in a humdrum voice, “Oh yeah…that’s nice” but its just chewing on them. Its bugging them. Because it’s exactly what they wanted. Is that rejoicing???
Everyone will have tests in this area. It’s a necessary part of all of our development. We will have challenges in life. Here and there, there will be situations where we’ll be tempted to be envious.
Lets talk a little about the dynamics of what happens in these situations. Let’s list some powerful Bible verses, and there are numerous places in the Bible that talk about this, but here are a few.
Ephesians 5:20 says “giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,”
1Thessalonians 5:18 says “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Do what??? In everything…give thanks!
Colossians 2:7 says “rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.”
This says we are to abound with thanksgiving.
Colossians 3:17 says “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
Hebrews 13:15 says “Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.”
When should we do this??? Continually!!! Where are we supposed to do this??? In EVERY…THING!!! All the time!!! Continually!!! Even when my brother gets to before I do.
And here is what happens if we don’t do it. If you don’t give thanks, if we don’t rejoice with those who rejoice there is a void left behind. And something is going to fill that void. When we are not thankful, something is going to fill that void and it will be unthankfulness. Because there is no place between thankful and unthankful. If you are not thankful, there is just no middle, neutral place where you are neither thankful or unthankful. No “just neutral.” If you are not thankful you will be UNTHANKFUL. And that gives place to envy. But we can teach our kids to protect themselves from being envious by being thankful. They can actually “ENVY PROOF” themselves by being GENUINELY, HEARTFELT, CONTINUOUSLY THANKFUL when other people are blessed.
Being thankful includes being thankful for your brother or sister. Let me say that again. Being thankful includes being thankful for your brother or sister. Love is thankful. When the other person gets it. And this is a strong indicator of spirituality and maturity. That they’re really beginning to grow up.
So lets train our children, no matter how old they are, that love cares about the other person. GENUINELY!!! And that they can genuinely rejoice and give thanks when its going good for the other guy.
