Isn’t it funny, the tendency we all have to criticize others of the very things we are guilty of? We judge ourselves by our intentions but we judge others by their actions. Have you ever noticed how we like to “rename” our sins? We do that by ascribing the worst motives to others, while using other phrases to minimize our part and let ourselves off the hook. Its the old “I may have a Toothpick in my eye but you have Telephone Pole in your eye!”
Here are some examples of what we are talking about
If you do it, you’re a liar; I merely “stretch the truth.”
If you do it, you’re cheating; I am “bending the rules.”
You lose your temper; I have righteous anger.
You’re a jerk; I’m having a bad day.
You have a critical spirit; I bluntly tell the truth.
You gossip; I share prayer requests.
You’re pushy; I’m intensely goal-oriented.
Galatians 6:1 says…Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, CONSIDERING YOURSELF lest you also be tempted.
The apostle Paul tells us that Spiritual people restore gently! AND that Spiritual people also consider themselves. This means we should look hard in the mirror and think about what we could have done differently to prevent the situation.
In Matthew 7:3 Jesus says… And why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye.
There it is again. Consider yourself. Did you ever wonder why people feel like they have to point out their spouses failure? It is not our job! The Bible never tells us to point out our spouse’s faults. Despite that you’ve probably noticed the uncanny ability your spouse has to spot all the unholy aspects of who you are. Have you noticed this? It is like a mysterious human tendency to tell them how they should be. To try and change them. Right? But we have to stop trying to change them! My copy of the Bible has over a thousand pages. And not on one of those pages does it give instructions on how to change someone else, how to alter their character, or extinguish their bad habits, or improve their behavior. What is the Bible full of? Instructions on how I can change me. But nothing on how I can change my spouse.
Why is that? Well, first of all, changing someone else is God’s job. That’s the job of the Holy Spirit. He’s the one who’s supposed to speak to our hearts about the changes we need to make. And we all need to understand that our marriage ceremony did not make us into a deputy Holy Spirit. He doesn’t need our help. So we all need to step aside and let Him do his job. Now is that an easy thing to do? No, it’s a matter of faith. The natural response is to think, “If I don’t say something about this, it will never change!” Well, let me ask you a question: how much success have you had so far in changing your spouse? Have nagging, and arguing, and scolding, and complaining, and criticizing been working well for you? No? Then stop trying to do God’s work. Give your spouse over to God. Pray FOR them. And trust that God, in His power and wisdom, will bring about the changes that need to be made.
Jesus said we the first thing we should do is focus on our own “telephone pole”, on changes we need to make. This is not to say that those around us don’t have faults. They might. But despite that, God wants us to focus on changing ourselves first.
