In our last post, we talked about changing our reaction when our spouse hurts us. And to do that we need to define forgiveness.
And sometimes, when we are trying to understand what something is, its good to talk a little bit about what it is not, or clear up some misconceptions about it.
Maybe all along you have thought that forgiveness is some demonstration of weakness. Forgiveness is not weakness. Forgiveness is not being a doormat for people to walk all over you. If that were the case, then Jesus would’ve been greatest doormat of all. But NO! It takes the help of the Holy Spirit, the love of God and obedience to His word, to forgive. It is being strong enough to be Christlike and it actually puts YOU in the position of power.
Some other misconceptions of when the word forgiveness is mentioned is some people think that forgiveness is the equivalent of excusing sin and saying that what was wrong is now right. But that is not true.
Forgiveness is not excusing unjust behavior. Think about the example of forgiveness that Jesus displayed when he encountered the mob of men ready to stone the woman caught in adultery. He chose not to stone her. However, He didn’t excuse her either. Instead He said, “go and sin no more.”
Forgiveness is not forgetting. So don’t beat yourself up because you struggle to forget some of the bad things that have been done to you.
Forgiveness is not circumventing God’s justice. It is actually allowing God to execute His justice in his time and in his way. In other words, it’s not letting the guilty off the hook. Its moving the guilty from your hook to God’s hook
Forgiveness is not a natural response. It is a super natural response and powered by God.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice. An act of the will. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been abused, deserted, falsely accused or mistreated, we always have to choose to forgive. It’s a choice and we have to determine to walk in forgiveness. We can’t wait for our feelings to change first, It has to be an act of the will, based on faith rather than feeling.
So now that we’ve cleared up those misconceptions, read our next post to find out what forgiveness is.
