The Bible, in Ephesians 4;32, tells us that we are to forgive others “just as God through Christ has forgiven us.” And we all know that we are supposed to forgive others when they do us wrong. Right?
We want to help you understand as God has helped us understand how you can forgive others in the face of unspeakable hurt and pain. And maybe you are on one end of the spectrum and you are one of those that have had terrible, atrocious things done to you by your spouse. Or, maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum. Maybe you have led a pretty protected, blessed life and you may be thinking, “I’m doing good, I cant think of any reason that I am mad at my spouse right now.” There may be some things that God wants to teach you. Not just how to forgive in catastrophic circumstances, but how to walk in forgiveness, in His grace and in His mercy in our everyday lives.
Very few things are as difficult to handle as when someone does us wrong. And when it happens, most of us find ourselves strangely unprepared. It starts off kinda like this. You’ve been wronged and there’s no way around it and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re the victim here. But how should you respond? Some people say you’re supposed to just forgive and forget. And sure that’s easy to say but is that even the right way to respond? What does the Bible say? Do Christians have a right to retaliate? It happens every time when we get hurt by someone. Our immediate and automatic response can be revenge, resentment, and we may want to hold onto that pain of offense. But what are we trying to prove and how much more damage are we doing to ourselves through holding on to the offenses? There has got to be a better technique. Well there is. The Bible tells us the greatest way to get even with someone.
So lets read a couple verses here.
Romans 12:17
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “ Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore “ If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Now first of all, notice how Paul doesn’t minimize the nature of the evil that is done. Look at verse 17 again. He calls it what it is. So we don’t have to sit here and pretend like the things that offended us and the things that hurt us really weren’t that bad. We are not minimizing the offense of the sin. Please understand that. We don’t want you to just brush over it, you can acknowledge it’s real. But he doesn’t just stop there. Notice he goes on in his argument. And Paul doesn’t make his argument on the basis of what’s right. He doesn’t say forgive because it’s the right thing. He says forgive because it’s smarter. Forgive because you love Jesus, yeah… but forgive because it’s a better technique. And this just goes against the way most people react. So lets change the way we react. And to do that, in our next post we will define what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.
