What is “Mom and Dad” time? It’s a set apart time of day where husband and wife have uninterrupted conversation on the couch while the children quietly observe in the same room. Here is how it looks.
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As the head of the household Dad announces to his wife and children that it is “Mom and Dad” time.
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Mom stops doing what she is doing and joins her husband on the couch.
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The children get a quiet activity to do by themselves and come and join Dad and Mom in the room, sitting separately from each other.
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No electronics, iPods, computers, headphones, etc. Suggestions: Do homework, read a book or the Bible, draw or color a picture, put a puzzle together, build blocks, crafts, etc.
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Toddlers should be put on a blanket with an activity and should be expected to stay on the blanket. The blanket gives the toddler a visual boundary.
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(You establish these rules because you want the children to be able to hear and see Dad and Mom having a conversation.)
Once everyone is in the room, Dad asks each child to recite one of the following “Mom and Dad” time rules as a refresher.
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Do a quiet activity by yourself.
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No interrupting Mom and Dad
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No leaving the room.
Once everyone is reminded of the rules Dad says “Mom and Dad time begins now.” Dad and Mom begin talking to each other. The point here is to put your marriage relationship first and have your children see that you are putting it first, before your children. You want to strengthen your relationship by having sincere conversation with your spouse and in the process, show the children that things are ok with Mom and Dad. Share your day, your dreams, what you read in your Bible that day, what God is speaking to you, what are you hoping and praying for… Note this conversation time should not reference the children and this is not the time to argue or resolve conflicts. Try not to communicate to the children at this time unless they need a reminder of the rules or have to use the bathroom.
Start off doing this for a short time, depending on the age of your children, and gradually increase the time you spend in this uninterrupted conversation. Your goal is to get to 15 minutes a day, Monday through Friday. You may experience resistance from the children when you first try to implement this. Explain to them that it is important for Dad and Mom to have uninterrupted conversation and that it is good for them to see that Dad loves Mom and Mom loves Dad. Explain that it will help your family be stronger. Don’t back down. Be kind but be firm. This is important. And then be consistent. Remember your goal is to get to 15 minutes a day Monday through Friday. You can keep track of how many days you have “Mom and Dad” time and grade yourself using this scale.
5 days a week A
4 days a week B
3 days a week C
2 days a week D
Less than 2 days F
Extra credit equal to one day of “Mom and Dad” time is given if you go on a date with your spouse WITHOUT your children. (“Mom and Dad” time and date night both show the kids that Dad and Mom are OK)
